I want to express my gratitude to all of you and wish you a satisfying and healthy year in 2020. Although I have nothing against happiness, I avoid using that word here, and maintain that a healthy and satisfying life is a happy one.
I am greatly encouraged by the constancy of your practice and the way the temple has been taken care of while I was on sabbatical last year, and during my recent illness since mid-September. I want to express my gratitude to our board of directors and the leadership of the Vice Abbot, who pay attention to the maintenance, infrastructure, finances, and major issues that effect all of us.
I want to thank all of you members for your willingness to pay your dues and to make contributions: the support that keeps us rolling along. And of course the balance of daily participation among the practice leaders and members willing to take positions, have dokusan and practice discussion, attend classes, dharma groups, and teisho (lectures). All of this has made for a strong sangha based on mutual encouragement, which has been a great support for me at this time.
Currently I have been tolerating my chemotherapy without side effects, which enables me to move around easily and continue my practice at the zendo. Given the situation of being a 90-year-old with cancer, I do need my fair share of rest. So I sleep a bit late most mornings and have been attending afternoon zazen. I see members mostly semiformally in my office, or informally. I make appointments online.
I remember Suzuki Roshi saying that when what you have to do and what you want to do are the same, your discriminating mind is under control. This is shikantaza: just doing, and a secret of happiness.